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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Need A Date?

    Let's take a little trip down Memory Lane. Remember when you first laid eyes on your signifcant other? How did they look? Did they take your breath away? Did you say something like : I gotta get to know him/her" to yourself. You may have even checked around to see if they were attached.  Now let me change the scenario a bit. The situation remains the same EXCEPT FOR...... that person you're practically drooling over is in a wheelchair, or wears leg braces or has some other type of disability. Do you give them a second look or even a second thought?  Even today with most people thinking more liberally, dating a disabled individual remains  rather taboo. Why is that? Well, in "One  Man's Opinion", people arent taking the time to get to know that person. Instead they see a person who doesn't look "normal" and  keep right on moving. I've heard excuses like "My Boyfiriend Won't Let Me" to "Um ...Uh...Well....... and then there's the ever popular "I Can't Handle Your Disability" How do you know you can't "handle" their needs/problems if you don't know what they are? Ok, I understand fear and fear of the unknown is frightening. But isn't ANY new dating situation scary? Will they like me? How should I act?  I myself have been stood up on many occassions(not bad for a guy who can't even stand on his own). I can say I've had one relationship that proved meaningful. It only lasted 3 months though as the saying goes, "It Is Better To Have Loved and Lost Than Never To Have Loved At All" We had some great times. She's also the girl who "Couldn't Handle Your Disability". I've also considered dating services as a way to meet people. It's Not Cheap(I've been looking over various sites). So the next  time  someone catches your eye, try to overlook some things and maybe you just might be in for a surprise


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I Am So Ready To Blow This Joint!!!!!!

  July 19 will mark 1 year in which I have been a resident of Genesis Multi Med in Towson Md.
Now this facility offers long and short term care, various types of therapy. It's recreational activities include board game, a "movie of the week", and occasional; outings to restaurants, ballgames, and shopping malls..

    I came here after and on and off stay at Bayview Hospital. That also lasted approximately 1 year. During the summer of 2009, I received 7 operations on pressure wounds. After a stay in both the hospital and Bayview Care Center, it was decided that I should go elsewhere as insurance refused to pay for my needs. While researching possible new locations, I decided to enter an assisted living facility while I completed healing. I was soon to learn that,under Maryland State Law, assisted living could not accept me as my wounds had not healed enough.. Seeing as how my Mother had gone to live with my Brother and his family in Westminster, home as I knew it was no longer an option. I would need 'round the clock care. The thought of a Nursing Home did not sit well with me at all. After all,what did I have in common with anybody staying there? Most people were 60+(actually most are 60 +++).

      So after several contacts, I came across the name Multi Med. The only negative I could find was that it was associated with the Genesis company. I had stayed at another facility owned by the same company. Without going into detail, let's just say it was a disaster.

       So I chose Multi Med as my new home. My stay here has been interesting to say the least. In 1 years time, I have gone from almost healed to complete bed rest,back to almost healed, and I find myself confined to bed once again. This is due to contiued pressure from my wheelchair. Wanna hear something funny? The bed that I've been confined to, the bed that is supposed to be protecting me from further injury, was recently determined to be the cause of some of my problems. Now you'd think those in charge of my case would want this resolved ASAP!!!! BUT NOOOOOO!!!!!

         One of the biggest changes to my life has come financially. Before this happened, I was able to pay on all of my bills which included a specially equipped van I drove everywhere. Since then, I have been forced to retire from my job at the Federal Government following a career that lasted 20 years. I had planned to retire in 30 years with a pension plus the money I had saved in my Thrift Savings Plan account. To clarify, the Thrift Savings Plan is the government equivalent of an IRA. Over time I had accumulated over $100,000. Since insurance will not pay for a stay in a nursing home, I was forced to pay Multi Med out of pocket to the tune of approximately $8,000/month. I had to use money from my retirement plan for this. As you can imagine, this didn't last long as some funds had already been used at Bayview. Having no other alternative, I recently applied for Medicare to help assist with medical costs. Under Law, you can have no more than $2,500 in your name at any time. This requires me hand hand over my retirement check,social security and a pre-determined portion of my retirement to the Nursing Home every month. After all is completed, I am left with $71/month. Now if I was 60+ years old and had a lived a "normal" life, this wouldn't be an issue. However, I'm 45 and would still like to have a job and maybe one or 2 other luxuries of life such as a girlfriend/wife and HEY!!!! how about a house and maybe even a van? The thing I miss most is not having someone to go through this with. I really do believe that being with someone to talk to and exchange thoughts and emotions with would make this easier.

  As for now, I'll remain here while recovering and deciding my next step. Do I enter assisted living with 24 hour care or do I look into my own apartment ans possibly hire a nurse for whatever needs I may  have. It was also suggested to me to hire 1 or more nurses from where I'm at now as they have an understanding of my situation. 

    Don't change that dial. I'll let you know what happens.

      I'll be back tomorrow with another rant. About what you ask? Tune in and find out!!!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Hi everbody and thanks for stopping by. Before I begin my journey into the world of what and whoever, I thought I'd spend some time talking about my favorite subject; ME!!!!! Just kidding. Actually I want to tell you a little about myself and maybe why I chose this path. I'm a 45 year old  disabled male living in Maryland. I've been confined to a wheelchair all my life
  due to a birth defect called Spina Bifida which is an exposure of the spinal chord at birth. To resolve this, exposed nerves were removed rendering me unable to use or even feel my lower extremities.Other than not being able to do things a "normal" person can do, I'm regular people myself. Sports is one of my passions.Besides going to an occassional game, I love watching sports on television, my favorites being football and baseball. Unfortunately I don't often get to play as watch. I also love bowling, a good movie, action being my favorite, and a thriller for reading. If there's anything else you'd like to know, just ask.

Now if this is sounding more like a singles ad than a blog, well..... that's another reason for  this adventure. I'm hoping to make many new friends and maybe find that someone special.. I also hope to give you all something to think and  talk about as I welcome all points of view. If you have something you'd like me to address, feel free to express yourself.

So, hang on and enjoy the ride!!!!